July 18, 2010

Falling in Self ♥ • Days 20-23
• Loving My Guts

What a weekend!  I feel like I got my @$$ handed to me & revitalized my ♥ in one fell swoop.  I hit a wall of despair then fell right on my butt!  A few days ago I found myself feeling lost and confused.  I met with a dear friend hoping for either an intervention or pleasant distraction.  We talked, laughed, listened to music & she made me an awesome Italian feast!  THANK YOU!  She asked me if I was willing to show up in essence... egoless & willing to show my painful, dark side to the world?  Hmmmm?  Hmmmmm?  (I paused a lot, lol). She laughed and asked if that was a NO?  I smiled, let out a BIG SIGH and said, my answer is YES and I am scared!  So here it is...my facebook I AM INSPIRED musings at some points this weekend could have looked like:

I AM • the unwanted black crumbs from a slice of burnt toast 
scraped into the sink & washed down the drain • INSPIRED!  
I AM • the expired clump of hair shed from a dog wadded up behind an old piece of furniture undiscovered until next year's spring cleaning • INSPIRED!

I am curious, now, about how being transparent might be helpful for someone?  I am up and at 'em again, bruises & all.  I am learning that loving me means loving ALL OF ME, even my arguably ugly, stinky guts ;)  BTW, as it turns out, I didn't need an intervention or a pleasant distraction...a dose of more love was what helped! 
Self love is awesome AND love between friends is essential too.  

2 comments:

Lianne said...

I think ever since the Solar Eclipse everything is shifting. Relationships, issues, inspiration, connectedness... it's all shifting. Shift is good, but shift can be painful.

In other words, "I hear ya".

Blessings to you. You are a delightful spirit.

Lianne

~Karen Michelle Bayard~ said...

Thanks for writing Lianne. Shift can be painful and fun and easeful....lots of things...I am experiencing many versions and feel so very thankful to have lots of support. I feel like my practice around laughter and who/what that has drawn into my life has been extraordinary! Thanks for writing and for sharing the laughter video on your fb page!